I'll Stand By You
by LeafyHazel
Summary: Remus is worrying about his inner monster and his secret love for a certain someone.


**A/N: This is my first story on FanFiction, so it is probably not great. I hope that people will read this and please R&R because it will be a big help :)**

**By the way, I just heard this song while on shuffle because I used to like it a while ago, and suddenly realised it's perfect for this pairing. There isn't much lovey stuff, mostly friendship. Hope you enjoy.**

**Sorry if it is a bit long.**

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><p><strong>I'll Stand By You<strong>

_Oh, Why You Look So Sad?  
>Tears are in your eyes<br>Come on and come to me now  
>Don't be ashamed to cry<br>Let me see you through  
>'cause I've seen the dark side too<em>

As he heard the distant chimes of the school bell, Remus pulled his arms tighter around his knees, hoping that he would blend into his surroundings and no one would notice him sitting on the ground. He had sat there since the early hours of the morning when there hadn't been a single soul awake and he had been able to sneak silently into Hogwarts grounds and take up position under a tall tree beside the lake.

He had good reason for wanting to be away from everyone, especially his friends, right now. And that included that one special person his mind was trying really hard not to dwell on. He wished he could forget everything that had happened recently, that they could all carry on like normal. But he knew it wasn't going to happen.

The thing was, Remus wasn't just any seventh year wizarding student at Hogwarts; he was a werewolf.

And he still hadn't worked up the courage to tell his friends.

His lycanthropy was not his only secret. He also happened to be in love with Sirius Black, one of his dear friends and Marauders. Remus had tried to ignore the feelings but they were stronger than anything he'd ever felt before. His wolf had felt the changes in his heart too. His transformations had become a lot more vicious, and he had been injuring himself more seriously each month. He became increasingly worried someone would happen upon him and be torn to shreds by the wolf.

Remus had begun to distance himself from his friends, knowing they would never be safe around him while he was what he was. He was aware that they weren't happy with the changes he was implementing in their lives, but it had to happen like this. He had to be alone through this. He never wanted to hurt anyone, ever.

But it might happen if people got too close to him.

The thought ran through Remus' mind again and again and he brushed away a tear collecting in the corner of his eye as the sun came up over the horizon and flamed vibrantly above him. He sat there for hours pondering his situation. He hated the idea of being away from his friends, but if it was better for them... He knew he would do anything for Sirius, including never see him again.

This time the tear did fall and Remus' attempts to brush it away did nothing to stop the flow. He sniffed, sighed, and threw his head back so he rested against the tree trunk, watching the clouds pass by.

High above him, in one of the many castle towers, a black haired boy gazed out of the window watching the small figure rest in the morning sun. He let his eyes sweep over the familiar features of the boy his heart secretly ached for, and then checked behind him, making sure his roommates were still sleeping soundly, unaware of their missing friend who sat alone outside.

Sirius wondered what Remus was thinking about. He himself was still marvelling at the replaying image in his mind of the other night when he had crept along behind his friend, covered by James' invisibility cloak which he had secretly borrowed. He had silently followed Remus to a secret tunnel beneath the Whomping Willow and watched in surprise as his friend had stripped down and crouched to the grimy floor of the tumble-down house they had ended up in.

Sirius had kept to the corner of the room, wondering what was happening and why Remus came here every month. That had been his reasoning behind following his friend. He had noticed the change in Remus' behaviour, not just towards him but everyone he encountered. He cared for Remus enough to poke his nose into what was going on behind closed doors and find out what the hell had changed, and why Remus lied about his monthly disappearances.

Sirius had not expected what he then saw. The most ugly and painful transformation took place and it was at least a few minutes before a full wolf stood before him. Luckily, whilst the wolf had collapsed to the floor moaning and whining in exhaustion from the change, Sirius had managed to hurry out of the shack and back along the tunnel and out into the open Hogwarts grounds.

He had then been unable to completely leave Remus alone, for he felt friendship bound to stay, and sat at the foot of a nearby tree, keeping out of the Whomping Willow's way, but keeping watch for his friend's return to humanity. He had realised he was lucky the wolf hadn't smelt him, for he had obviously been in an aggressive mood. Sirius could hear thumps and growls, crashes and howls as the wolf tore up the shack around him.

Eventually, Sirius had fallen into a light sleep, waking only when a silence took hold of the night. _Remus must have changed back_, Sirius thought, and would have gone to investigate but suddenly Madame Pomfrey appeared and hurried into the tunnel, returning soon enough with a semi-clothed Remus covered in blood and cuts. Sirius jumped to attention, even though neither of them could see him and he hurried back to the castle after them, watching as his friend was led to the infirmary and his wounds attended to. Then he had left in slightly stunned state to return to the Gryffindor tower.

Now, looking out the window, Sirius remembered the feeling, not of fear, but of awe, as he had watched the transformation overcome his friend. He wished his friend could know that he knew his secret and cared for him still. Cared more than he should, perhaps.

_When the night falls on you  
>You don't know what to do<br>Nothing you confess  
>Could make me love you less<em>

_I'll stand by you  
>I'll stand by you<br>Won't let nobody hurt you  
>I'll stand by you<em>

Remus walked between classes in silence, unaccompanied by friends, revelling in the knowledge he was keeping everyone he cared about safe from the beast within him. He stared at his hands twisting together in the front of his robes and managed to walk straight into another boy walking the opposite way. He looked up to apologise as he stumbled backwards but his tongue froze when he recognised the black mane of hair and the grey eyes.

"Sirius." He gasped and immediately lowered his gaze, trying to skirt around the other boy. But it was too late for that.

"Remus." Sirius tried, but Remus concentrated on avoiding his eyes. "Remus. Remus, dammit, look at me!" Remus' eyes jerked up as if he was unable to resist Sirius' commands.

"Remus, I... I want you to know that... I wish... I want..." Sirius found he didn't know how to finish. He wanted to tell Remus that no secrets like lycanthropy could ever change his feelings. But he hadn't even admitted his feelings out loud yet. He looked down and then back up at Remus. His heart skipped a beat as he gazed into the familiar face he had come to think of as beautiful.

As the two boys locked eyes, Remus realised he could see in his friend's eyes the kind of love that he had always craved. Here he had a real friend who cared enough to try and talk to him, to keep their friendship going, even when Remus was clearly avoiding him and the others.

Remus decided he owed Sirius an explanation, and probably James and Peter too.

"Sirius, I have something to tell you." He said at last. He coughed, covering his mouth, thinking of the words he should use, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Sirius smiled toothily as Remus looked up, giving him the sudden courage he needed to speak. "Sirius, I am not what you expect. I have a secret, and I have been avoiding you to try and keep you safe from it, because I... Well, I care. About all of you." He frowned.

"I am a werewolf, Sirius." Remus managed.

A feeling of horror came over him when he saw a grin spread over his friend's face. _He doesn't believe me_, Remus thought desperately. He looked down in embarrassment. He didn't ever want to have to say those four life-changing words ever again.

But Sirius was grinning for totally different reasons. Instead of using words to convey what he felt, he put his hand on Remus' shoulder and then pulled him into a rough hug, wrapping both arms tightly around the thinner boy. Remus immediately stiffened, shocked at Sirius' display of affection. He even tried to pull away slightly, until he heard Sirius whisper into his ear.

"I know." He murmured. "I know, Remus, I know, I know." He repeated it over and over until he felt Remus' strength fall away and he fell against Sirius' body, giving in to the embrace. Sirius felt and heard the small sobs that came next. Remus was embarrassed to find the tears were back, pouring down his face onto his friend's shoulder. But he was glad that Sirius didn't seem to care one bit and just held him tighter than before. He had missed his friends, he admitted silently. He had especially missed Sirius' presence, although they had never been this close before. He wished they could always stay so close, their bodies pressed tightly together, Remus' head resting in the crook of Sirius' neck, and Sirius' chin resting against the top of his hair. He felt completely safe there, as though nothing could ever hurt him. Not even the wolf.

_I'll stand by you  
>I'll stand by you<br>Won't let nobody hurt you  
>I'll stand by you<br>Take me in, into your darkest hour  
>And I'll never desert you<br>I'll stand by you_

And when...  
>When the night falls on you, baby<br>You're feeling all alone  
>You won't be on your own<p>

Remus' first transformation since his three friends had become animagi, and he was nervous. He couldn't help but try to warn away his friends, but they wouldn't listen to him at all. They had insisted on changing their lives forever so that they could accompany their friend on the nights of the full moon. He officially thought they were stupid.

But he was only slightly glad. Of course, he was never going to let on he was glad for the company. But he was. All those previous nights of the full moon had been the worst of his life. Maybe finally, the wolf would have some friends, even if they were only a large dog, a stag and a rat.

That night, he stripped off and hunkered down, ready to be taken over with the pain and knowing it was coming soon. A small brush of a hand on his bare shoulder was the last thing he felt before the pain. The agony of the change was just as bad as ever. But afterward, the wolf stood up, stretched its bones and rolled its neck, sniffed the air and caught the scent of the others still in the room.

The wolf stiffened, letting a low snarl erupt from its lips and turning to face the enemy. But the large black dog took no heed of his warning growls and padded straight over, pressing itself against the wolf. After snarling viciously and nipping the dog, the wolf suddenly realised...

These were his friends.

The wolf found itself able to recognise Sirius' familiar smell of rich earth and wet leaves; smells which Remus knew all too well. In his recognition of his friends, the wolf found itself able to recognise itself. For the first time ever, the wolf could recall his name.

He looked up and gave a small whine. The black dog loped across the room and nuzzled up against the wolf again. Although at first, Remus' wolf bristled at the contact, he managed to relax and rest his body against the dog's. At this positive sign, the stag trotted over and the rat scurried towards the others too. The wolf saw then that he was never going to be alone again.

Remus sighed inwardly, feeling... safe.

_I'll stand by you  
>I'll stand by you<br>Won't let nobody hurt you_

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><p><strong>Hi guys! I now realise that the timeline is a bit off in this story. Please forgive me but I thought it worked better here. Hope it didn't confuse you!<strong>


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